


Once Forever

by magickmoons



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Ascension, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Episode: s05e21 Meridian, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Wordcount: 500-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-16 11:30:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/861509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magickmoons/pseuds/magickmoons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's Ascended but he's not gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once Forever

**Author's Note:**

> This is just post- _Meridian_ , so Character Death warning depending on your interpretation of the episode events.

It was strange. He looked at himself and could see a body... if he wanted to. But anything he saw was just a trick, an illusion, a leftover memory of form and substance.  
  
He had walked through the immaterial image of the stargate, leaving it to Jack to do the hard part: to tell the others, or not. But while Jack might have assumed that he had left the SGC, he hadn't. He was still here, even though he could feel Oma pulling on him, tugging at the edges of his consciousness, that which defined Daniel Jackson in this new existence. He couldn't leave, wouldn't leave. Not Yet.  
  
He watched as they turned as one to Jack once the lightshow of Ascension stopped - his first lesson in this new life, controlling the balance of his energy through the planes of existence. It took some time - forever? five seconds? - for him to tune into their reality enough to hear Jack's dry, concise, nearly emotionless explanation. But Daniel could perceive Jack’s hands clenched into fists inside his pockets, nails digging into his palms. He could sense the effort of will that was controlling pulse and adrenaline to prevent any outward signs of distress as he held Sam, too shocked for tears yet, and reached out to squeeze Teal'c's shoulder.  
  
Then Sam turned to Jacob and Janet, all three speaking quietly in half-formed platitudes, fatigue and grief hitting simultaneously. Daniel wished he could have said goodbye in some more meaningful way. Sam was right: they all waited too long to say what really needed to be said. Together, the three drifted out of the infirmary, turning their eyes from the orderlies coming in to clean up.  
  
Teal'c nodded a silent acknowledgement to Jack and Hammond, his expression strained, before he too left the room to deal with his grief privately.  
  
The general sighed. "Jack, I don't know what to say."   
  
Jack stayed still, his eyes focused on the bed, now bare of stained and dirty sheets, stripped of the bandages that had tried to capture Daniel's life as it poured out of him. "Nothing to say, Sir. We both know it ends this way sometimes."  
  
The general shook his head, looking at the nearly empty room. "But what way did it end?"  
  
Forcing his gaze away from the bed, Jack looked the general straight in the eye. "Badly."  
  
Daniel closed his eyes. At least he imagined he did, not wanting to see the sulfurous spikes of pain emanating from Jack.  
  
"I'll arrange for SG-1's mission schedule to be pushed back a week. Give you all some time to adjust."  
  
"All due respect, General, I'd rather not." Jack's voice was clipped now as the strain began to show through. "I think we should keep everything as normal as possible now."  
  
The general looked at him for a minute. "If you feel it's best..."  
  
"I do."  
  
"What about filling Dr. Jackson's position on the team?"  
  
"When we find someone, great. Until then, nothing immediate is coming up that the three of us can't handle."  
  
Hammond nodded thoughtfully. "All right, Colonel. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Good night, Sir."  
  
Daniel followed Jack out of the infirmary, moving at the slightest whim of thought, pushing away Oma's increasingly insistent tendrils. Jack was in the locker room now, sitting on a bench, staring at Daniel’s locker. The room was empty and Jack had let some of his defenses down, or he just couldn't keep them up anymore.  
  
He looked defeated, alone, diminished. He slumped down to rest his arms on his thighs, and let his head hang low. A shuddering sigh ran through him. Daniel could count on one hand the number of times he had seen Jack like this. It shouldn't be like this; that's why he had talked to him, tried to explain his decision.  
  
Anger, he’d expected. Inappropriate jokes, deflecting. But this, why hadn’t he foreseen this eventuality? He hadn't wanted to add another item to Jack's list of perceived failures and yet, here he was watching Jack silently count each and every way he could have, should have, headed this disaster off, found a way to fix it.  
  
Daniel moved himself to a position that felt like he was kneeling in front of Jack. "I'm here. I'm okay. There was nothing you could have done. This is how it has to be," he whispered.  
  
He felt Oma standing there. Her pull on him was no longer gentle, and when he looked up, her expression was stern.  
  
"You must release your ties to this world, Daniel. Come with me, now."  
  
He looked at Jack, face still stony in grief and self-recrimination, then back to Oma. "He can't hear me, can he?"  
  
She shook her head. "No."  
  
"Why not? You appeared to me. I could hear you, see you. What am I doing wrong?"  
  
She smiled gently. "First, you must come with me. One day, perhaps, you will learn how to interact with this plane, but before you can do that, you must learn that your concerns no longer lie here." She stretched out a hand, and Daniel felt himself being lifted almost against his will.  
  
He acquiesced, giving her a smile and a nod, already wondering how often Ascended beings appeared to each other in these forms, his mind and being stretching out as he followed her, shedding almost all vestiges of his previous life. But he kept one thing, closely hidden, tightly guarded, the one thing he would never give up. SG-1.


End file.
